ASK ROTTEN ADVICE: Honesty is the Best Policy

Dear Rotten Advice:

At our family Christmas party this year, my sister-in-law and I found ourselves in the kitchen getting more pigs-in-a-blanket. While I was bent over the stove, she pinched me in the bum!

This is eating me up inside. I had no idea my sister-in-law felt that way about me! Should I tell my wife?

- Object of Affection

Dear Object:

You must tell your wife.

If your brother was having an affair with your wife, you'd want to know, wouldn't you?* There's only one way to handle this: call together the entire family for a meeting. Sit everyone down and clear the air. (If it helps, have several drinks first, so you're sure you say exactly what you mean.) This is also a great time to confront other family members about their offensive personal habits and political opinions. But avoid talking about religion; you're a uniter, not a divider.

This courageous act will bring your life and marriage back into harmony. Just be prepared for all the extra lovin' your honest and forthright ways will bring you!

*I'm at least 75% sure your brother is not having an affair with your wife.