Dear Rotten Advice:
The product my company makes has been getting some terrible online reviews. The product isn't really that bad, though it does have a few flaws and there have been a couple of minor injuries. Would it be OK for me to post my own review, to even out the score?
Nikleb Salesguy*
Dear Salesguy:
Posting your own review may sound like a good idea, but it's not. There's only one of you, and thousands of dissatisfied customers; you need leverage. If there's one thing the web has to offer, it's millions of people with time on their hands. Why not harness that potential for your cause? It's easier than you might think - Amazon has a terrific service called Mechanical Turk that allows you to advertise for folks to perform small online tasks, usually for less than a dollar a pop. For a modest investment, you could have a hundred positive reviews online overnight. And while they're writing glowing reviews for your product, why not also have your online minions mark negative reviews "not helpful"? You'll get more positives and minimize the effects of the negatives: WIN!
Do be sure to use an assumed name when you're advertising for reviewers, so competitors and nosy bloggers can't figure out what's going on. Use your own name spelled backwards - it's easy to remember, and nobody will figure it out.
You may be asking: is this legal? Absolutely! Here's a better question: wouldn't your competitors be doing the same thing, if they were as smart as you are?
*We've changed the company name, to protect the writer's identity.
Showing posts with label Honesty. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Honesty. Show all posts
Monday, February 2, 2009
Monday, January 26, 2009
ASK ROTTEN ADVICE: Honesty is the Best Policy
Dear Rotten Advice:
At our family Christmas party this year, my sister-in-law and I found ourselves in the kitchen getting more pigs-in-a-blanket. While I was bent over the stove, she pinched me in the bum!
This is eating me up inside. I had no idea my sister-in-law felt that way about me! Should I tell my wife?
- Object of Affection
Dear Object:
You must tell your wife.
If your brother was having an affair with your wife, you'd want to know, wouldn't you?* There's only one way to handle this: call together the entire family for a meeting. Sit everyone down and clear the air. (If it helps, have several drinks first, so you're sure you say exactly what you mean.) This is also a great time to confront other family members about their offensive personal habits and political opinions. But avoid talking about religion; you're a uniter, not a divider.
This courageous act will bring your life and marriage back into harmony. Just be prepared for all the extra lovin' your honest and forthright ways will bring you!
*I'm at least 75% sure your brother is not having an affair with your wife.
At our family Christmas party this year, my sister-in-law and I found ourselves in the kitchen getting more pigs-in-a-blanket. While I was bent over the stove, she pinched me in the bum!
This is eating me up inside. I had no idea my sister-in-law felt that way about me! Should I tell my wife?
- Object of Affection
Dear Object:
You must tell your wife.
If your brother was having an affair with your wife, you'd want to know, wouldn't you?* There's only one way to handle this: call together the entire family for a meeting. Sit everyone down and clear the air. (If it helps, have several drinks first, so you're sure you say exactly what you mean.) This is also a great time to confront other family members about their offensive personal habits and political opinions. But avoid talking about religion; you're a uniter, not a divider.
This courageous act will bring your life and marriage back into harmony. Just be prepared for all the extra lovin' your honest and forthright ways will bring you!
*I'm at least 75% sure your brother is not having an affair with your wife.
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