Your body is crawling with toxins: pesticides, hormones, prescription drugs, fertilizers, heavy metals, Richard Simmons and more. Much more.
Fortunately, there is a simple remedy: the Master Cleanse. Switch to a diet of lemonade, maple syrup, water and cayenne pepper.* Give it ten days, and the toxins will be driven from your system. Along with your significant others.
Let's face it: if it's good enough for Gwyneth Paltrow, it's good enough for you, pally.
* As Dave Barry might say, if he were still alive**: "I am not making this up!"
** We are aware that Dave Barry is still, technically, alive.***
*** You're right: "Dave Barry is still, technically, alive" would be a good name for a rock band.
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